A subject and predicate make a sentence

I'm craving a McGriddle. Not sure why, I NEVER eat at McDonalds anymore . It's not easy for me to eat there anyway, probably cause that was my 1st ever job. I was 14 yrs old & my parents were tired of me contributing nothing to society, so my Dad gave me 2 choices - Burger King or McD's. I'll be honest, neither one of those two appealed to me. My Dad went & spoke to the Manager Carl & even went so far as to fill out the application for me. I get home from school & he tells me that Carl (apparently now on a first name basis w/the guy) wants to hire me. In my 3 yr tenure with the McDonald's corporation, I lost my job a total of 4 times. The 1st time was when one of the Mgrs, Abel, asked me to go sweep up the lobby. On my way out I grabbed a large fry & sat in the one of the corner booths reading the paper. I'm about 1/2 way through a pretty sweet order of fries & all of a sudden I hear, "What the hell is this??". Fired. Somehow my Dad talked to Carl, got my job back. So I'm moppin' up that area right behind the counter & used too much water (I'm a kid, I don't know how to mop) & another Mgr , Tom, comes around the corner really fast & just wipes out man, it was pretty comical (to me). I'm sure it didn't help that I started laughing right in front of the guy. Fired. Yet again, Dad talked to his buddy Carl, & got my job back. This guy came thru the drive thru & ordered a McChicken w/extra mayo. We'd use a caulking gun type thing to put sauce on stuff & I was experimenting with it & drenched the guys sandwich. He gets his food, pulls away & you see him hit the brakes. He comes stormin' in, slams the bag on the counter & pulls out the McChicken. There was so much mayo on it that it had soaked thru the wrapping & was everywhere. I found that one amusing too, but the Mgr didn't. Fired. Don't ask me why, but Carl still had faith in good ole Mike Mason, got my job back. You need to wonder at this point, why Carl is going to such great lengths to keep me on the payroll. When the McJordan had come out, that was a great time for me, cause I was the world's biggest Michael Jordan fan. It was basically a Quarter Pounder w/Cheese but w/BBQ sauce & bacon (mmmm). To promote it, they made us wear these stupid buttons w/Jordan's picture on it. For some reason, unknown to this day, I "borrowed" a big bag of them...but got busted. Fired. Yeah at this point in my career, Dad no longer had any pull with Carl.

I must say I'm doing pretty well at 102.3 though, 5+ years, 0 firings. Who's awesome? Me.

-MM