Why are people still writing checks? I think there are two exceptions to this: rent/mortgage & girl scout cookies. So we're in line this past Sunday @ the Wal-Mart (my first mistake) shopping for school supplies, and the dude in front of us decides to write a check. Of course as soon as he whips out the tattered checkbook from his back pocket I let out a big sigh & say to myself, "are you kidding me?". Be honest, are you this person? If you are, I can no longer speak to you. It's like c'mon guy, get a check card. With the exception of my Grandma, who's like a hundred, everybody's got one. Banks give these to you for free, btw. Why aren't you taking advantage of this feature? Maybe you get some personal enjoyment from selecting that special box of checks, like the clowns with balloons ones? I still have the same box of checks I ordered three addresses ago, they have Tom & Jerry on them, 4 different chase scenes. Can you guess how many times someone has said to me, "hey is that Tom & Jerry?". Umm you know it is...why you askin'? To embarrass me? I'm not embarrassed of that, it's not like they came by accident, I did that on purpose. The way I see it, if I gotta write a check, I'm going all in, none of this standard check shit. AND it took this guy like 12 minutes to write the damn thing out. There's only 5 fields: the date, the who, the numeric dollar amount in the box, the handwritten dollar amount & signature. If you're looking to be ambitious, a 6th would be the memo field...which is pointless to begin with, because if you feel the need to have to remind yourself later what you just bought, there's a problem. You do realize that you can bang out 3 of these 5 while your shit is being rung up, but instead choose to stand there & stare at the cashier's screen (like you're gonna catch her in some kind of scam). And if it's taking you more than 18 seconds to write out a check, there's yet another problem on top of your other ones that needs to be addressed. Does this person know what happens the second they pull out that checkbook? We're all waiting behind you, we want to go & get back to our lives, you're preventing this from taking place. For this brief period of time, the check writer is in complete control...holding our lives in the balance of his stupid, check writing ways. I mean, at any point he could screw it up & have to start over, not to mention we're aware there's another step to this process, the cashier asking for his license. This is around the time when you can see that single bead of sweat slowly dripping down the side of his face, he knows we're all pissed. This is probably the EXACT same person who gets in their car, heads towards the tollway & still tosses change in the basket. For god's sake man, GET AN IPASS! We all have one, we're all coasting through the gate. I know you've seen us do this, yet you refuse to get one. Why? You're being charged double for tolls, is that not an added incentive right there? Is it fun to scramble for change? No, it's not. Stop it. But I know that once you finally break down & get this complicated little device, you're gonna be that person who comes to a complete stop, or close to a complete stop, in the IPASS lane! Why are people doing this? The whole point is to"not stop". I came close to ending up in the backseat of someone's Volvo 3 weeks ago because I didn't realize this asshat was going to hit the brakes. Whoever you were, I hate you. So save your checks for your rent, get yourself an IPASS, and go cash in your change at the Coinstar. Because if these things don't stop happening, I'm going to lose it like Steven Slater did with Jet Blue.
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