I've been gone now for 15 months and 8 days, kind of like I was away on some sort of retreat (but not really). Some of you may have forgotten about this blog. And that's ok, because it's back, and I'm back...and I haven't forgotten about you. Well, only some of you, the annoying ones -you know who you are.
Since we're on the subject of annoying, why can't fast food places get my g.d. order right? I don't frequent them that often, only when I really have to, when I'm stressing about something...like updating a blog, or passing a lie detector test. Seriously, everything I get is plain. Is this really too complicated of an order to turn around? I'm actually making LESS work for you, McDonald's employee. Show me some appreciation! Just take the bun, and patty, slap some cheese on it, and give it to me. That way I don't have to bitch and complain and write a stupid blog post about it.
However, I
did find the following picture taped up inside Window #2 amusing ------->
In case you can't read what it says under "HOW MANY?": "This is what you should ask to every customer that requests extra packets of any sauce, sugars, ect."
"Example:
Customer: Can I get some ketchup pkts?
You: How many would you like?
You will be surprized of the answer..."
Blah, blah, bling, bling, blah. In case you're ready to jump on me for using ECT. instead of ETC., stop yourself...some genius there did that. Probably the same dummy who found it appropriate to spell surprised with a Z. Being that I'm an avid "ketchup hater", I still felt it my civic duty to test out this method, which went down as follows. ACTION!
Me: "Can I get some ketchup packets?" (as script dictates)
Worker: "Sure."
Not only did he go off script, he handed me 12 ketchup packets, using both hands! Seriously guy, what the f am I going to do with 12 ketchup packets? That's 10 grams a packet (yes, I looked that up). Does anyone know what to do with 148 grams of ketchup? I can't even do the math right, that's how much ketchup I'm working with. I steer clear of this stuff, I just tell people I'm allergic so they leave me be. And even if I was all about it, I still wouldn't know how to handle. I'd probably put them in a nice pile for starters, then open and empty into an overly large container, probably a bucket, and your guess is as good as mine after that. Maybe paint? I could paint you a picture if you want, like - the inside of a ketchup factory, or what I think Dexter Morgan's kill room looks like. As much as I wanted to knock on the drive-thru window and then throw all 12 packets at his pimply face once he opened it...I kindly took them and drove away.
However, I did feel the need to throw them at somebody, so I apologize to you...Elementary school kid on bike.
Since we're on the subject of annoying, why can't fast food places get my g.d. order right? I don't frequent them that often, only when I really have to, when I'm stressing about something...like updating a blog, or passing a lie detector test. Seriously, everything I get is plain. Is this really too complicated of an order to turn around? I'm actually making LESS work for you, McDonald's employee. Show me some appreciation! Just take the bun, and patty, slap some cheese on it, and give it to me. That way I don't have to bitch and complain and write a stupid blog post about it.
However, I
did find the following picture taped up inside Window #2 amusing ------->In case you can't read what it says under "HOW MANY?": "This is what you should ask to every customer that requests extra packets of any sauce, sugars, ect."
"Example:
Customer: Can I get some ketchup pkts?
You: How many would you like?
You will be surprized of the answer..."
Blah, blah, bling, bling, blah. In case you're ready to jump on me for using ECT. instead of ETC., stop yourself...some genius there did that. Probably the same dummy who found it appropriate to spell surprised with a Z. Being that I'm an avid "ketchup hater", I still felt it my civic duty to test out this method, which went down as follows. ACTION!
Me: "Can I get some ketchup packets?" (as script dictates)
Worker: "Sure."
Not only did he go off script, he handed me 12 ketchup packets, using both hands! Seriously guy, what the f am I going to do with 12 ketchup packets? That's 10 grams a packet (yes, I looked that up). Does anyone know what to do with 148 grams of ketchup? I can't even do the math right, that's how much ketchup I'm working with. I steer clear of this stuff, I just tell people I'm allergic so they leave me be. And even if I was all about it, I still wouldn't know how to handle. I'd probably put them in a nice pile for starters, then open and empty into an overly large container, probably a bucket, and your guess is as good as mine after that. Maybe paint? I could paint you a picture if you want, like - the inside of a ketchup factory, or what I think Dexter Morgan's kill room looks like. As much as I wanted to knock on the drive-thru window and then throw all 12 packets at his pimply face once he opened it...I kindly took them and drove away.
However, I did feel the need to throw them at somebody, so I apologize to you...Elementary school kid on bike.
